OK, so it turns out that Alex didn't park his car around the corner to avoid me yesterday--he just wasn't at work after all. I woke up knowing this for sure, strangely enough, but I decided that even if there was an explanation, I shouldn't just jump right back in. I wrote him yesterday around this time (because that's when he usually writes me) as an offering, but that was a really dumb thing to do. But I didn't think I could feel OK unless I did it, and I was right. So he wrote me about 10 minutes ago apologizing about the long delay in getting back to me, and to say that he's up for another dinner, but "this week's looking a bit tight, perhaps next week?"
So now I don't think I'll be writing him back until at least tomorrow. I don't want to play games, but this has been really hard on me--physically, emotionally and mentally. I don't think he's trying to string me along, but I don't think he knows what to do with me. I think it's safe to say he just not that into me and leave it there, and let him find me when he's up for it. Or not, whatever, but I have to get off this roller coaster.
I can't really blame him for any of this--I might have laid it on a bit thick when we were last together, telling him how he makes me feel, yada yada yada. Too late now. But I can't devote any more energy to this until I get my head back on straight. Not that I know how to do that. But a week's break between dates will probably go a long way toward that.
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