Cool for now

I actually like this cooling-my-heels period with Alex. No pressure, I don't have to worry about anything or think about anything. Not that I'm not thinking about Alex, of course--for some reason, I'm still finding it impossible not to think about him, but at least it's not hopeless. I don't get it, but maybe it's the medication.

I used that inhaler my doc prescribed this morning for the first time. It was weird, and I felt a little light-headed afterwards, but I think that was just in my head. I kept picturing Dead Todd and how he used his inhalers incessantly--but needfully--and got it right the first time. Not sure that it helped, and it actually felt like it did the opposite, but at least I got over my fear of using the thing. It's silly, I know, but that's me.

Jon and I are going to Perbacco for a post-Valentine's Day dinner celebration. It seems strange that everything's "normal" with him in the midst of all of this Alex stuff, but it is. I can't stand the thought of not having me around, but it's going to happen sooner or later, whatever happens with Alex, so guess I've got to start getting used to it. Thinking of signing up on match.com just to get my mind of both of them, but I think that's a dismal resort. I'll keep thinking about it, though, just as a way to distract.

Amy dropped a big bombshell yesterday: not only did she spend the night with Rob last Friday night, and apparently he hasn't forgotten her at all. He's still "scared", whatever that means, so she's in wait and see mode, like I am. Only her's is worse, because she knows she loves the guy and wants to be with him, if he can only get over this fear thing. I have no idea of my chances for a relationship with Alex, because I don't really know him at all. It feels like I do, but I really don't. I have no idea what he's thinking about, why he isn't dying to hang out with me again, and if he is, why he's not making it happen sooner than "next week" all the time.

Ooof, I didn't want to descend into another rant about Alex today, but guess that's where my head's at. Back to Amy: another big bombshell is that she's met some guy online who lives in Phoenix but is going to move to SF for work for a number of months, or so he says. She's very pragmatic about the whole thing, since she doesn't know him from Adam, but she's intrigued and interested enough to meet him when he shows up later this month or next month. Yikes! hope it works out for her...