February 22

So, the strangest thing happened today. On my drive home from work, my thinking was pretty much anti-Alex. Meaning, I was starting to feel like he really wasn't worth the all the effort and hand wringing that I've been doing over him, and that I didn't actually have to regret any of it. I could stomach the idea of seeing a Mercedes E320 or being in SF or drinking red wine without feeling terrible about my missed chance with him. And then--of course!--he called me. He called, and we talked for some 30 minutes about a lot of things and nothing at all. He didn't say what's been going on with him, but he did acknowledge his elusiveness over the past few weeks. He mentioned some embarrassing episodes at restaurants, but he wouldn't go into details. I got him to promise to tell at a later time, so that was something. He talked about the scallops he made last night with avocado, tangerine mignonette (which he charmingly called "mignette" several times) and scotch bonnet pepper, but the pepper was too hot, and he wants to try again with maybe serranos or something (my suggestion). To my surprise, that didn't lead to an invitation, but I'm OK with biding my time.

I don't know what any of this means, but we left it friendly and expectant. We'll be talking again soon, i trust, but we didn't make plans. I told Jenna (via IM--that silly girl was working way late again!) that we'd be talking again via phone, and that was ideal since he's a real distraction to me in person. There's something about looking at him that turns my brain to near-mush and my body to a sweating mass of goo. I can't get past that at this moment, but someday maybe. Of course, my wish is that i won't have to...